#35 - The First Step

FAMILY! I LOVE YOU. :)

Well, first things first: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DADDY! :) Dad, I love you with everything I've got in me! Thank you for the full-moon hikes. Thank you for the long talks on the way home from Grandma's. Thank you for baptizing me. Thank you for loving my mom. Thank you for being patient with me even when I'm a twerp. Thank you for interviewing my dates. Thanks for teaching me how to study the scriptures. Thanks for teaching me how to gut a fish. Thank you for "lessons of the day". Thank you for making me who I am and getting me here. I could say thank you forever and ever, Daddy-o. You mean the world to me. There are not words, so please feel my love and gratitude that I am sending to you from Brazil! Happy Birthday, Daddy! :)

And speaking of gratitude... A Happy Thanksgiving to one and all! :) There is no turkey, mashed potatoes, or pumpkin pie down here in Brazil, but I don't think there has ever existed a Thanksgiving that I have been so grateful. Do you people know how lucky we are?! We are among the most blessed people in the world. We have beautiful homes, good food, good jobs, every human need, and even silly things that we don't really need like a trampolines and four-wheelers and fishing poles just for fun.  More importantly, we have each other, not just now, but for eternity; and we love each other. We like to talk to each other and be with each other and help each other and would never dream of hurting each other. But the number one thing that I am grateful for this Thanksgiving is the gospel of Jesus Christ. We have the full gospel and authority of God on the earth today and we know the truth! Jesus Christ lives and loves us! And through Him and our works and desires, we are going to return to our Heavenly Father with our families! Alleluia! We are saved! :) So, I hope that your heart is rejoicing in Thanksgiving as you are eating your candied yams this year, because we are the most blessed people! :) 

Anywhoo, back to Brazil.... :) While we aren't celebrating pilgrims landing on Plymouth Rock, we did have a holiday this week celebrating Afro-Brazil.  Salvador, especially, is heavily influenced by African culture and people and I LOVE IT. Some times I get a little sad that I'm not black... Ha ha :) We had a huge activity in the church with amazing African food, incredible dancing, and some of the coolest music I have ever heard. I was drooling all over the African drums and instruments. So cool, I tell you. :) And SO many investigators and less-actives came. We had a separate room all set up with information on the gospel and the church and we taught a lot of people! Success? I think yes!  I literally started to get teared up when curfew rolled around and we had to leave, because I loved it so much. Ha ha :)

We had another ward activity this week at a home for the elderly. We played games with the residents and sang songs and danced. They loved it so much and the ward loved it too! It was so good to see them smile and laugh, residences and ward members alike. I sang How Great Thou Art for them and some of them knew it and started singing along. It was just a tiny little thing, but they were touched and spirit was present. I remembered that I am going to be a real music therapist one day and just got so happy. I love music and it really, truly is powerful.  

In other news, yesterday, I gave my first talk in sacrament meeting in Portuguese! Huzzah! You know what is humbling? Having the vocabulary of a 6 year old. That's what. Ha ha! It was a little rough, but I got through it and the members understood my message and felt the spirit, and that's what is important, right? :)  Know one cares what you know, until they know that you care. :)

Remember when Luke was a little 2 year old hooligan and was always getting into trouble? I remember one time we were sitting at the table and we heard a loud crash from the garage followed by a little voice, "Daaaaad??? I need help...." Dad, quickly got up from the table and said, "Well, that's the first step...." I wonder how many times I have heard that conversation. Ha ha :) But! This week I learned a little lesson on asking for help. So, family. Let me be honest. In my e-mails, I usually avoid telling you the sad, hard moments because well... they aren't my favorite thing to tell you about. But, they do exist. In fact, in these last two weeks, I do believe I have experienced some of the deepest sadness my heart has ever known. Here is why: 

I have been in Brazil for almost 4 months now, and well... none of my investigators have been baptized. Not one. I was expecting to baptize many when I arrived. I'm in Brazil! I am suppose to be baptizing by the hundreds! But... nope. We have had over 7 baptisms fall through in my time here, and I cannot describe the pain that has caused my heart.  It is an awful feeling to fill that baptismal font up and then drain it, having no one been baptized. You put all your love, heart, time, and soul into these people, but in the end they have their agency.  The other week, someone I love very, very much was exposed to anti-mormon literature and yet again, a baptism fell through, and someone I love rejected our message of Jesus Christ. I cried so much. I realized this week that I have been waking up feeling sad almost everyday and have been getting very discouraged, and this is totally against my nature. I didn't want to tell anyone because I was super embarrassed. I'm Amelia Mann! I don't get sad! But. I felt prompted to call President Hart and ask for help. I DID NOT WANT TO. But, when the spirit speaks, I listen. So, I swallowed my pride and called him. You know what he said?! He said he was happy that I was sad because that means I love the people and have the spirit. I just about fell off my chair. Ha ha :) He gave me such beautiful words of encouragement, and assured me that success is just around the corner. It was like a big does of medicine. I felt so much better! And if that wasn't enough, he sent my bishop to our house to give me a blessing. It was so beautiful. My spirit felt lifted again and I know that I will baptize! Sometimes, you just need to ask for help even though it's hard. That's the first step.

Family, I LOVE YOU. Forever and always. Please pray for me; I pray for you. :) 

All my love,

Sister Mann

P.s. SISTER POWELL GOT HER VISA!!!! AAAAHHHH!!! Who's excited?!?! This girl! I am going to squeeze that little ray of sunshine SO hard. :)  :) :) :) :)